


little league

by helioslover



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, ain't no happy end, it's johnny and yeri's wedding day, johnny and taeil are childhood friends, johnny and yeri are getting married, nct doesn't exist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23501026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helioslover/pseuds/helioslover
Summary: everything seemed  to be directly taken from a fairy tale. the newlyweds were happy and in love, guests were having good time, food was delicious, the playlist was perfect and his heart was broken.or, the one in which taeil didn't know that seeing his best friend marry someone else was so painful.
Relationships: Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	little league

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first english-written os ever, pls be indulgent (english isn't my first language). hope you'll enjoy it :)  
> (stan nct and conan gray)

night hadn't fallen yet and guests were chatting in the huge garden johnny and yeri had rented for this wonderful day. wonderful, it was the word. everything seemed to be directly taken from a fairy tale. the newlyweds were happy and in love, guests were spending good time, food was delicious, the playlist was perfect and the announced rain had been replaced by a bright sun that had shined in the sky the whole day. 

taeil hadn't stopped running everywhere. he didn't want johnny or yeri to worry about any little thing so he had taken care of everything, helped by sooyoung, yeri's best friend. sooyoung was nice. now he had met her, taeil understood why johnny had told him that he was going to like her. secretly, the american boy had hoped that maybe taeil and sooyoung could get along better than just well but it was hopeless ; firstly because if he had been into the pretty black-haired young woman, taeil would have been way too shy to try anything and then above all, because sooyoung preferred womanish sensuality to men's virility.

the brown-haired boy was looking at the newlyweds who were laughing with yeri's cousins. they were beautiful together, yeri in her white dress and johnny in his overpriced suit. taeil would have never thought that he would be standing here one day when his best friend first told him about that pretty young girl in the coffee shop in front of his flat. to be honest, he had thought that johnny would gently be friend-zoned and that his crush would only be over in a month or two. but, non, yeri had accepted the rendezvous and three years later, they were here, ring on finger.

"are you okay, tae ?" sooyoung asked while taking place on the chair next to taeil.

the best man nodded, a little wistful smile on his lips. he wasn't lying, taeil was really good. he felt so much happiness for his friends, he was happy that they had the chance to meet and to discover what love was together. but he was blaming himself. taeil felt bad because if he had the bravery, maybe today, he would be the one standing next to johnny. and knowing this was destroying him.

"did they ask you to do a speech too ?" the dark-haired girl asked again . 

she sighed, looking weary. sooyoung loved talking but as soon as she was forced to, it became a real torture however, when yeri begged her to play her best woman role until the end and to prepare something to say, she couldn't say no and had to honour her words. taeil was reassured to know that he wouldn't be the only one to speak in front of about fifty guests. yeri and johnny wanted their wedding to take place in a small group. they had only invited close friends and family members but taeil was shy and doing this speech was scary for him.

"yeah" he answered. "I don't even know what I'm going to say" he sighed.

he had thought about it for weeks, spending nights looking at his bedroom white ceiling never finding the sparkle of inspiration that would allow him to write the touching speech he promised johnny. ended up with nothing to say while he was supposed to speak in twenty minutes.

"I think you should say something about yourself" sooyoung said putting a sandwich filled with smoked salmon in her mouth.

"talk about me at someone else's wedding..?" taeil repeated, frowning.

he politely refused the appetizers plate that sooyoung put in front of him. he hadn't eaten anything since the previous day but his stomach was refusing to gulp down anything solid. stress, and sadness taeil had to admit, kept him from keeping a meal and since he didn't want to vomit, he wasn't eating, which was worrying sooyoung.

"not only you" the comedian explained . "you should talk about johnny and what he brought to your life and praise him for being the good person he is. people like it and think that they're lucky to know him and it's gonna soothe his ego."

taeil nodded. sooyoung was right, he had to praise johnny. it was easy for the brown-haired boy. he was thinking that johnny had no flaws and idealized him at the highest point. he knew johnny couldn't be perfect and he must have defects like everybody, but he couldn't see them.

***

the temperature had drastically dropped, forcing guests to come in sooner than it had been planned in the castle. everybody was in the huge room and taeil, seated at the head table, could see all the tables. from where he was, right next to johnny, he was seeing irene, seulgi and wendy, yeri's friends, laugh their heart loud with baekhyun and junmyeon. there also was mark, johnny's cousin, who was sitting with yukhei and jeongwoo and those two seemed to be really close. 

"hum, ladies and gentlemen" sooyoung declared, ringing her fork against her glass. "I've been asked, well in fact, forced, to do a speech"

taeil smiled looking at her. it was impossible to guess that she was already completely drunk even though it was only 08:00PM but he had seen her empty a champagne bottle in her glass. he wasn't listening to what she was saying, but, looking at people's reactions, he guessed sooyoung must had been good. the brunette declared the last sentences of her speech, it was going to be taeil and his shaking hands' turn.

he stood up once sooyoung sat again and cleared his throat.

"I-I'm not used to speak in front of so many people, sorry if I start stuttering the young man declared, a little awkward smile on his lips.

some people told him to stop worrying, johnny slapped his shoulder and sooyoung gave him a full glass that he emptied in one shot.

_do you remember days on our block ?_

_messin’ with our neighbors who called the cops_

_could’ve swore that you and me_

_could get away with anything_

"I met johnny when i was nine and he was eight" he started. "yep, it's been a long time. he was my new neighbor and like every shy child's parent, my mom forced me to bring a plate of cookies to the family that just moved in. I admit, I went there sulking because I didn't want to meet this boy but I came home happier than ever because I knew that I had just met my best friend"

taeil was smiling telling the story of how he met johnny. the little boy that he had been had felt that for the first time, he had gotten along well with someone his age. taeil had always been really reserved and schoolkids mockeries hadn't made it better. but meeting johnny, this little hyperactive boy who came straight from chicago, had brought him a little out of his shell. they had spent the end of the summer together doing bike races that never ended well, johnny had bumped into one of their neighbors' car who had threatened them to call the cops, and spending nights looking at the stars in taeil's garden. the nine-year-old had spent the best summer of his life, even better than when he had went to new zealand with his family.

_we'd lay on the grass, all day talking_

_'cause we snuck out of class when no one was watching_

_i remember you and me_

_yeah, i remember everything_

"you gotta know that the today johnny who's almost a doctor, is the perfect son-in-law and is admired by everybody, isn't the same than the johnny that I have known." taeil could hear johnny's laugh behind him. "in highschool, he used to spend his time cutting classes to smoke and get drunk because mister seo wanted to look cool. in fact, he only calmed down once he met yeri."

taeil could perfectly remember those long hours he had spent with the tall brown-haired boy. they would both sat on the grass and spent hours talking about this and that. at s sixteen, johnny no longer had secrets for taeil. he had known him for so long that he hadn't even tried to hide anything from his friend. the elder one would never judge him so he could allow himself to say everything. taeil appreciated those complicity moments they shared together. each time he decided to not go in maths class to follow johnny, he knew his mom was going to moralize him. he would swear that he'll never start again and leave exponential functions alone as soon as he could, prefering johnny's ceaseless chatter. because he would have done any stupid little thing for johnny.

"I wasn't an angel either, together we made quite the pair. each one of us knows that we shouldn't have acted like that but we were little dumb boys that thought that they knew the whole truth. I think I really realized how much johnny was important to me during teenage. he has always been there for me, he was the person that I knew would always be there. everybody has someone like this in their life, someone that you will always call whenever something is wrong. he is that one for me and I hope that he knows that I'll always answer too" taeil said.

words were just poured out, he didn't even knew if what he was saying made sense. he was simply trying to put sentences on the messy feelings he felt about johnny.

tears had risen to taeil's eyes as he remembered that confused period they went through together. sadness and malaise touch more people than you could imagine and both had to deal with those hard feeligs and they had done it different ways. taeil had wanted to act as if nothing was happening and some times, he had exploded and johnny had been there to pick up the pieces. the youngest one didn't know how many times he had snuck out to stay with taeil unitl this one falls asleep, tired of crying. johnny, had prefered to forget his pain thanks to sport. to keep the control over himself, he had spnet hours and hours on the football field or hitting a punching ball. he had done too much that often, he would tear a muscle or get injured but didn't say nothing. he would just swallow painkiller pills as if it was peanuts, sometimes with alcohol. it must be said that the teenager was often alone, left on its own ; only child of single mom that was working and travelling way too much. he had been used to see the sutler more often than his mom. and that is why taeil used to come and visit him each night when it was his turned to be sad.

it was certainly at this moment that taeil had started feeling that he wasn't seeing johhny the same way he used to. he already knew that he wasn't straight at all but johnny only convinved him about his orientation. the young man had grown up and his hours spent playing football had shaped him a muscular and slim body that didn't left the elder indifferent. and, johnny had always been there for him. he had been his light during his darkest days. they had shared everything together and taeil had gotten lost in the proximity established between them. he didn't want to because he knew that in a friendship, romantic feelings always messed it up but he couldn't escape but falling in love with johnny seo.

_but, lately i’ve been feeling strange_

_and everybody's telling me to act my age_

_i never thought that everything i had, would fade away_

"today, we're here to celebrate the most beautiful wedding of the year and I have to admit that it feels weird to me and now I'm under peer pressure. I'm twenty-seven and even though I don't feel ready to engage myself into something as big as marriage, soon society will think that I'm too old to be single. and while there are some that are struggling just to get the right to marry the person they love, there are others, like these two" taeil showed the bride and the groom with his hand "who delight our eyes with their love story coming straight from a soap."

relentlessly, taeil had started telling johnny and yeri's fabulous story and while stars were sparkling in yeri's little cousins' eyes, in his, tears were about to drop. if he had the courage to, taeil would have admit his love to johnny earlier and maybe nothing of this would have happened. when he had insomnia, taeil used to let his imagination rant and create scenarios about his life with johnny if only his feelings were reciprocal. he could easily imagine himself, hand in johnny's hand, taking their adopted son to school for his day. they would have married in chicago, johnny's hometown, maybe they would have definitely moved there. 

taeil had also imagined the simple date nights they would spend together, wrapped in a blanket watching johnny's favorite movie or in way too chic restaurant. of course, taeil didn't think that that there would only had been ups in their relationship. of course, they would have fights maybe because johnny would have looked too much at this waitress' butt or because once again, taeil would have forgotten to wash the dishes while he should have done it three days ago. maybe one day, one's acts would have pushed the other to say things beyond his thoughts and they would break up thinking they could live without each other but soon they would find out that they need the other to be okay.

_ when we were younger _

_ we didn't know how it would be _

_ we were the dumb, the wild, the free _

_ little league _

to be honest, taeil didn't know what he was really saying. internally, he had lost control of it all. he had the impression that he was totally losing control. he felt big tears running down his cheeks while the public just thought that he was touched to see his best friend marry the love of his life. taeil just wanted to leave the room but he couldn't. if he could, taeil would have found shelter in his halfsister's, byulyi, arms. she had always listened to his broken-heart complains and cheered him up with the perfect words that could make him smile. but byulyi was in argentina and taeil wasn't a child anymore. he had to learn how to manage himself. if only he had known what becoming friend with johnny would bring as much happiness as pain into his life, perhaps he would have hesitated before offering him a plate of cookies.

_ why did we ever have to leave? _

_ little league _

he wanted to go back to this careless age when johnny and him laid in his garden and looked at the stars eating popcorn. he wanted to go back to this age when johnny had convinced him that as long as they were together, they could do anything they want without ny regard to the consequences. he wanted to go back to this age when johnny was just his best friend. that was his deepest desire.

_ could i get a rewind ? _

_ get another chance, take it back in time _

_ 'cause i don't know what to do _

_ with everything i'm going through _

  
taeil had stopped talking. he had no idea of he had said in the last part of his speech but if he believed in the guest applauds, the proud smirk on sooyoung's lips and johnny's tears, taeil had kept his teary speech promise. his own eyes were red because of the long minutes during which he had had to keep his tears in it. the small brown-haired man was feeling this weird sensation that gave him the impression of being out of his own body. he could see himself smiling and wiping the only tear that had dropped with his napkin. he could see himself sit, well to be true drop himself, on his chair without saying anything and let yeri's mom speak. taeil was feeling empty, without any emotions. he felt nothing at all, overwhelmed by all the memories that had come in his mind. 

everybody had made their speech and taeil hadn't moved since he sat. he had to stand up when the cake arrived but his feelings were still anesthized. he didn't even smile when sooyoung told him his speech was the best best among all. he was just observing johnny and yeri, wishing all the happiness the world could give them even if it meant that he would be destroyed. while he was talking, he had realized that destiny had given him several occasions to declare his flame to johnny but he had never taken one. his time was over, now he had to let yeri take the place of his dreams. 

***

later that night, while everybody was having fun on the dancefloor, taeil was out as he needed to breathe. he was sat on the grass looking at the stars, feeling a little bit nostalgic. he had tried to call byulyi but she was in a professional meeting and could only send him messages and would call him back later.

"thank you tae'"

johnny's voice broke the relaxing silence that was surrounding taeil but it didn't annoy. a little smile took shape on his lips and he almost laughed when he noticed that despite the years, johnny still had his little american accent, the same as eighteen years earlier.

"why ?" he asked while inviting johnny to sit next to him.  
"your speech,, i...it, i didn't know that simple words could have such big effects on me. it might look stupid but it really has touched me..."

taeil smiled. just like johnny, he had never understood the power of words before this night. johnny wasn't the type of boy who liked to show his emotions, especially in public, but taeil had made him lose control. seeing johnny's tears had been a big surprise for taeil, a proof that johnny wasn't as insensitive as he seemed to. 

"I love you, john'"

finally, it had come out. taeil had said it. perhaps, it wasn't the perfect timing but at least, it was done. the weight on his shoulders had disappeared and for the first time in an eternity, he had no regrets.

"I love you too tae" johnny said back smiling.

taeil sighed hearing his best friend's answer. he knew this "I love you" was true but he would have loved it if it had another meaning in johnny's mind.

"damn, that was a wonderful day" the groom added.

taeil nodded. wonderful, it was the word. everything seemed to be directly taken from a fairy tale. the newly weds were happy and in love, guests were spending good time, food was delicous, the playlist was perfect and his heart was broken.

**Author's Note:**

> hope it didn't make you cry, thank you for reading 'till there !


End file.
